I had an initial coaching session recently with a man who said he was a little depressed and wanted to be happier. Bruce, as I’ll call him, was 38 years old and he has had ulcerative colitis, a chronic and often severe inflammation of the colon, since he was 15. Given that he had been sick for 23 years, it wasn’t surprising to me that he was depressed.
However, Bruce had a better life than most of the people I work with. He had a supportive wife and two young children whom he loved, and he had a well paying job that he enjoyed a lot that he was able to do well in spite of his illness. I guessed that there were other factors besides his illness that were contributing to his depression, so I asked Bruce a few questions about different areas of his life, including his childhood. Without hesitation, but in a detached way, Bruce told me that his father was killed in an accident before he was born.
As he told me his story, I got a strong sense that a lot of Bruce’s depression came from his early childhood. It would sure be understandable if it did. Most families look forward to the birth of a baby, but Bruce’s mother was overwhelmed and grieving from the loss of her husband. Life must have been very hard for both of them.
I would have liked to help Bruce heal the depression he had because of his illness and his childhood, and possibly other factors as well. I think it’s very likely that his ulcerative colitis symptoms would have improved a lot with coaching. But Bruce decided not to hire me at this time. I hope that sooner rather than later he gets the help he needs so that he can have the happiness he wants.
